


Stay Quiet

by cinagray



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Artist!Dean, DeanCas - Freeform, M/M, selective mutism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 16:22:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23378185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinagray/pseuds/cinagray
Summary: Dean hasn't said anything in months, and Cas has never stopped worrying.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 7
Kudos: 64





	Stay Quiet

“Hey, Dean.” Castiel looked up from his paper and cup of coffee when Dean stumbled into the kitchen, still groggy from another late night working. “Can I get you some breakfast?”

Dean shook his head and went straight to the coffee pot. He poured himself a cup and doctored it to his liking before taking a seat next to Cas. He held the hot mug tightly in both hands, venturing a small sip before committing to a bigger one.

“You came in late.” Cas said. Dean didn’t acknowledge him at all, and Cas had to suppress a laugh. Fuckin’ ray of sunshine in the morning.

“Did you have a good time with Sam?”

Dean shrugged and drank more coffee.

“I’m going in for a meeting this morning, but I might be home early. Everyone’s coming for movie night tonight.”

That caught a smile at least. Castiel got up and put his dishes in the sink and then grabbed his bag by the door. Dean watched him the whole way and Cas came back to kiss him. “I love you. Text if you need anything?”

Dean nodded and laid his head on the table. Cas rubbed his back and leaned down to kiss him again, just behind the ear. “Maybe a nap?” he whispered and kissed him again before he had to go.

******************

“I don’t know why we even wasted the time on this case.” Castiel complained to Charlie as he tossed folders onto the looming stack on his desk.

“At least they paid us for it?”

“But they essentially voted to continue alienating their customers. I don’t understand--” Castiel cut himself off and took a deep breath. “I want a better screening process. I don’t like putting my time into people who don’t actually care about their customers.”

“I know. I’ll look at the interview process and see what we can change.” Charlie said. She started out of Castiel’s office, but he spoke just as she started to close the door.

“You’re still coming tonight, right?”

Charlie popped her head back in. “Would I miss a Friday night movie?”

“Good. Dean is always happy to see you.”

Charlie nodded and cleared her throat. “So…. any progress? With Dean?”

Castiel turned his eyes back to his computer screen. This question. It was the one he hated the most and the one most frequently asked by everyone but Sam and Jess.

“He’s doing really well. He’s working with a gallery again, so he’s really happy about that.”

Charlie nodded, but didn’t push further. Cas knew she would evaluate for herself when she saw Dean that evening.

“Okay. He seems like he’s in a good place the last few times I’ve been over.”

Castiel nodded. “He is. You look at the interview stuff and I’ll close out this case, okay?”

“Sure thing.” She said, and closed the door behind her.

If someone had told Cas right after the incident that their lives would change and be better for it, he would have punched them right in the face. No shit, it changed. There was the surgery to remove the ruptured spleen and then another to put his arm back together and then physical therapy that kept him in the hospital for a few weeks. They were managing it all well, but when the doctors concluded that the loss of Dean’s speech was due to the psychological trauma and not physical injury, Cas hadn’t known what to do with that information. He knew vaguely that this had happened to Dean before, but not the details. In the meeting with the doctor and the therapist Sam and Bobby tried to reconstruct what they knew-- Dean had gone three months without speaking after witnessing his mother’s death in a house fire, and almost six months after his father died in an accident that almost killed a teenage Dean and Sam as well. A nearly fatal mugging certainly fit the pattern of trauma induced selective mutism that Dean had adopted.

But now, five months in and all of his physical injuries healed, Dean and Cas had adopted a second language that only they spoke. When they were both home it was quiet. Dean no longer filled empty space with conversation, and Cas had never felt the need to in the first place. Instead they sat close and conversed through touch and an elaborate use of eye expressions. Before the incident Sam had called it eye fucking, but now it was conversation.

It was amazing how much they could say to each other now with just a look. Castiel already had three years of practice in reading Dean’s expressions, but now he was an expert. For the first few months he found himself always trying to find any hint of discomfort or stress in Dean’s face, but now he could read most everything if Dean didn’t close himself off during his depressive days.

Castiel opened files and sorted papers, consulting his computer a few times, but ultimately after several minutes had to admit to himself that he was just moving things around without actually accomplishing anything. It was okay to take a break, right? He stood and stretched, and almost on cue his phone buzzed with a text from Dean.

**Going out tonight instead of movie**

_ Everyone is already planning to come to our place _

**They are coming with us. Dinner**

_ Everyone? _

**Yes**

_ Do I need to make a reservation? _

**Sam did**

_ Okay. I will be home soon. Did you catch a nap? _

**I’m working**

Cas sat back down in his chair. He needed to work too, but he just couldn’t think. After looking around at the stacks he’d made earlier, he made a deal with himself to leave as soon as he closed out the case.

********************

Cas pulled the impala into the garage and retrieved his bag before heading inside. He wondered absently where Dean might be, but there was music thumping in the studio and he smiled. Castiel ditched his bag in the office and walked down the hall to the studio. Dean had left the door open, and Castiel stood there watching him. Dean was wearing a black tshirt and jeans marked up in paint and charcoal. He hadn’t done anything to his hair since breakfast, but it still stood in fairly respectable order. The music was turned up loud and Dean moved along to it. He was drawing with charcoal on a big canvas, some broad sweeping strokes already applied, but the area he was working on was much more detailed. Castiel couldn’t tell what it would become yet, but Dean sometimes didn’t even know himself this early in the process.

He stood there watching Dean work until Dean caught a glimpse of him in his peripheral vision and startled.

“I’m sorry!” Cas called over the music. Dean was already rushing to shut it off, and then came over to Cas, smiling wide.

"I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Cas kissed him hello. “What are you working on?”

D ean frowned and shrugged, then took Cas by the hand and pulled him to the canvas. It still just looked like shapes and lines to Cas, but he stood there with Dean, wrapping an arm around his waist from behind and resting his chin on Dean’s shoulder. He could feel every breath as Dean frowned at the work and tilted his head. After a minute Dean twisted to look at Cas and smiled, that old Dean smirk. He kissed Cas quick and then turned to kiss him again much more slowly. When he released him, Cas cupped his cheek.

“What was that for?

Dean shrugged and then kissed him again, lips firm against Castiel’s. He worked his fingers into Cas’s hair, and pulled him even closer, tasting him deep and slow and serious.

“Dean…” Castiel whispered when he finally had air.

Dean gestured to the door with his head as his lips settled into a mischievous grin.

“We can’t fool around right now. We need to get ready for dinner.”

Dean laughed out loud and Cas paused a moment, waiting for Dean to pull back like he always did when a sound came out of him that he didn’t anticipate. Dean didn’t withdraw though, in fact- he leaned in and kissed Cas again.

“You’re going to make us late.” Cas teased.

Dean shrugged and kissed him again.

********************

Cas got up first, leaving Dean passed out on the bed. No wonder, since he’d only had a few hours of sleep the night before. Cas turned the shower on, planning to wake Dean after he got out.

As Cas washed he tried to figure out what was going on with Dean. For months now it had been small steps forward to break Dean out of depression and suddenly today he was working and kissing Cas in the studio and laughing even… Cas hesitated to believe they were around a corner, but maybe there was some sort of breakthrough. Maybe with Sam last night--

He heard noise in the bathroom and peaked out of the shower door. Dean leaned bleary-eyed over the sink squeezing toothpaste onto his toothbrush.

“Hey.” Cas said. “Need anything?”

Dean didn’t turn, just shook his head and started brushing.

Cas closed the shower door and finished up. That was the Dean that had been hanging around more lately.

Dean got in almost the instant Cas stepped out, without a comment or a touch and Cas sighed. That little moment of hope in the shower had been too much. Obviously it had been a good few hours, not even a whole day. But it was something, at least, and the laugh was the thing most of all that he would hold on to.

When Dean stepped into their room a few minutes later he frowned at the grey shirt Castiel was starting to button as they got ready for dinner.

“What? Not this one?”

Dean shook his head and went to the closet, emerging with a vibrant blue button down. He threw it on the bed and started unbuttoning Cas.

“I think I can dress myself, thanks.”

Dean snorted a laugh and went back to the closet. He threw a black jacket on the bed and sneaked a kiss from Cas on the way back to the bathroom to finish his hair.

And back to the good mood. Cas desperately wanted to know why he was so up and down today. Was his work going well? Did he and Sam do something the evening before that cheered Dean up? Cas worried that if he asked Dean would end up scrutinizing the details to death, so he kept his mouth shut and kept watching for hints.

When Cas was finished getting dressed, Dean bit his lower lip and then broke into a smile before presenting Cas with a cheesy double thumbs up. Cas rolled his eyes and sat on the bed to put on his shoes.

**********************

Dean drove the impala to the restaurant and led Cas in by the hand. Their table was outside, along a beautiful brick fireplace and the area above them lit with twinkle lights. Sam, Jess and Charlie were already seated.

“Wow. Very nice,” Cas commented. “Whose idea was this?”

Dean pointed at Sam.

“Yeah, yeah. I might have made the reservation, but Dean had the idea.”

Cas felt a tap on his back and turned to see Dean holding the back of a chair. Cas sat there and pulled his chair in, Dean took the seat next to him and pulled close to Cas. He settled his hand on Castiel’s knee like he did so often when they were out anywhere. It had taken a while for Dean to be able to go anywhere without his anxiety skyrocketing, but keeping a hand on Cas, or Cas’s hand on him helped. Cas took Dean’s hand and linked their fingers, and Dean leaned into him. Cas met his eyes, ready to figure out what Dean might want or need, but Dean just smiled and squeezed his hand.

Bobby, Ellen and Jo showed up shortly after they did and Ellen leaned down to hug Dean and kiss him on the cheek. “How are you, Dean?”

Dean smiled at her and nodded. Bobby didn’t say anything, just clapped Dean on the back and took his seat.

“I already ordered wine for the table,” Sam said, and everyone set about exclaiming about the food and trying to figure out what they would order.

Dean nodded along with the conversation, but every once in a while caught Cas’s eye or touched his leg to reconnect them. Mid-meal Castiel noticed that Dean had hardly eaten so he leaned to his ear.

“I have literally never seen you leave food behind. Is everything okay?”

Dean nodded and bumped their shoulders together playfully.

Castiel frowned. “Serious, Dean.”

Dean’s face softened and he reached out to Cas, his hand settling on Cas’s shoulder, then rubbing down his back. He glanced at Sam for just a moment before his eyes flicked back to Castiel’s face and he flashed a smile. A giant fake smile.

Castiel focused on Dean for a long moment, then over at Sam and back to Dean. Something was going on.

“Sam?” Castiel said, tearing his eyes away from Dean to find the taller Winchester.

“Yeah?” Sam turned his attention from Jess and Charlie to Cas.

“Can I have a minute?”

Sam glanced at Dean before Cas and that was when Cas moved beyond suspicion that something was wrong. Cas stood and Dean gripped his hand. Cas leaned down and kissed him. “I’ll be right back. Jo’s next to you.”

Jo patted Dean’s shoulder and leaned in to talk to him. Castiel met Sam’s eye and they walked out together, Sam glancing over his shoulder when they hit the doorway.

“What all did you and Dean do last night?” Cas asked when they reached the little vestibule outside the restrooms.

Sam laughed nervously and pushed his long hair back behind his ears. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that he’s been acting weird all day. Is he okay? Did he tell you something I should know?”

“I don’t think so, Cas. We had dinner and went to the movie just like we planned. We did get a couple drinks after, but I don’t see why he wouldn’t want you to know about that. What’s the big deal, Cas? So he’s a little weird today. He’s been having weird days for a long while now.”

“He’s barely eaten anything tonight.”

Sam paused, clearly surprised by the information. “Well… that’s new. I see why you’re worried. He’s probably fine though, Cas. Maybe ask him when you’re at home tonight without everyone around?”

Cas nodded, but the worry in his chest was still pulsing strong. “You’d tell me, right? If anything was wrong?”

“Definitely. If I knew I’d tell you.”

They started back to their outdoor table, snaking through other diners. Sam reached the door first and pulled it open, motioning for Cas to go through, and there was Dean, waiting between the table full of their family and the door. He dropped to one knee when he saw Cas, face turned up expectantly, green eyes bright.

“Dean-”

Cas didn’t realize he’d stopped walking until Sam’s hands were on his shoulders leading him forward to stand directly in front of Dean. Sam grinned at them as he went around to his seat with Jess.

Dean took Cas’s hand in his and held it for a moment before taking a deep breath and holding out his other hand. He uncurled his fingers to reveal a shining gold band lying in his palm. Cas’s breath caught and he met Dean’s eyes. Cas started to speak, to just say YES, but Dean squeezed his hand and shook his head no, never releasing Cas from his gaze. They all waited until time froze when Dean squeezed his hand and said, “Cas…”

Emotion flooded Castiel’s face and he started to shake. He could feel every beat of his own heart and every drop of blood rushing through his body. He cupped Dean’s face with his free hand and Dean smiled against it, but still didn’t take his eyes from Castiel’s.

“Marry me?” The words came soft but sure from Dean’s lips and his eyes danced.

Cas couldn’t say anything. His words choked in his throat and he pressed his lips together and furrowed his brow and tried to breathe. 

“Yes, Dean,” he finally managed, and nearly sank to meet him, but Dean surged up instead, kissing him fiercely.

Castiel forgot everything around them as he kissed Dean. He was only vaguely aware of the noise and excitement around them and he even forgot about the ring until Dean was sliding it on his finger. He held Dean close and whispered, “I’m happy to stay quiet with you,” Cas whispered into his ear.

Dean tucked his face into Cas’s neck and Cas gripped him tight. He felt Dean’s head move against his shoulder, a silent agreement. Cas grabbed Dean’s hand and raised it to his lips to kiss the knuckles.

Dean squeezed him back and lifted his head. “I love you,” he whispered to Cas.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was originally posted by me in 2015 as tellthenight. No changes, aside from a few verb tenses (now that I know what the hell I'm doing).
> 
> I'm cinagray on tumblr/pillowfort/discord.


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